Stephanie Coontz - The Way We Wish We Were

This article discusses the way in which families strive to be. We look back at the families in the olden days and wonder why we cannot be like them. Although families today definitely have their issues, we cannot idealize families from the past. Just because our families are not perfect, it does not mean that other families that we compare ourselves with are. We refer back to the 1950's, wondering how the women balanced tending to their children and home along with keeping their relationship with their husband alive. The image that we interpret from the 50's tells us that the women were able to do just that - they could balance everything and still keep a smile on their face. But our interpretation is incorrect. "The hybrid idea that a woman can be fully absorbed with her youngsters while simultaneously maintaining passionate sexual excitement with her husband was a 1950's invention that drove thousands of women to therapists, tranquilizers, or alcohol when they actually tried to live up to it." Our impression of the 1950's lady was far from correct - as families striving to become better today we look at only the good in families from the past. If you look deeper past the image of the happy-go-lucky family, we see that there are problems such as alcoholism in these families. Those families seem have traits that are similar to our families - traits that are definitely not perfect. Coontz goes on to demonstrate other families from different eras such as the nineteenth century. We thought that they were the ideal family, until we looked further and realized that "there was a significant increase in child labor during the last third of the nineteenth century". Not only did children have to work every day, but they did so in grueling conditions. So when we look past the portrayal of a family that abides by strict rules and seemed to be epitome of a substantial household, we see the flaws that they had. This article taught me that no family is perfect. No matter what era we are in, where we live, or what kind of people we are, a family cannot be absolutely ideal. When I read this article, I compared it to my family. I saw connections between the stories of families and my own family. I realized that even if we are living in a different day and age, we still suffer from the same struggles that any family does. Families will always have obstacles to overcome, and whether or not they depends solely on the changes they make.